Velveeta

The Kraft folks call it “liquid gold.” And just before the Super Bowl, we were told by the Cheese Powers-That-Be that we could face a shortage of the precious stuff. A “cheesepocalypse.” Fortunately, the alarmists were wrong, and we cheesepocalypse skeptics were right – no one went without the delicious Rotel Dip during “The Big Game.”

The reason we all love Velveeta is that it can be heated and remain smooth and lump-free, unlike regular cheese. It produces the creamiest macaroni and cheese possible. Do I need to go on?

Velveeta was given a stamp of approval by the American Medical Association in 1931, the docs noting that the product had all the nutritional value necessary to build “firm flesh.” Hmm. If you give in to the creamy goodness of Velveeta mac ‘n’ cheese very often, firm flesh is not the most likely outcome…